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Biscotti—20-something style

January 26, 2011

  1. Turn the oven on to 400°. Go to the garage freezer, pull out a pizza. Put it in the oven. While it cooks, start the biscotti dough.
  2. Read the recipe, listed below.
  3. Combine the first three ingredients as instructed. Realize you hate instant coffee so you have none. Substitute 2 tbsp General Foods International Coffees Sugar Free Decaffeinated Suisse Mocha Cafe.
  4. Add the eggs and flour mixture. Before adding the chocolate chips and walnuts, pull the pizza out of the oven. Start eating a slice while the mixer continues.
  5. Realize you don’t have mini chocolate chips. Decide to use standard chips instead. “Spill” a few on the counter. Clean up your spill. Add chocolate chips and walnuts.
  6. Shape the dough into logs as directed. Feel too lazy to go get a ruler. Use arm to measure 13 inches and pat dough just a bit too thin.
  7. Put dough logs in oven to bake. Eat another slice of pizza while you start last night’s episode of The Biggest Loser.
  8. Surf the internet (including facebook). Eat a third slice of pizza and drink a Dr. Pepper.
  9. Pull biscotti logs from the oven. Try to put on wire rack. Break the log in half. Decide to quit while you’re ahead and leave them to cool on the cookie sheet.
  10. Decide you’re being lazy. Develop the “two spatula” technique for removing the biscotti from the cookie sheet.
  11. Make a cup of coffee to drink while continuing to watch The Biggest Loser and waiting for the biscotti to cool.
  12. Husband gets home from work. Tell him to have some of the pizza. Show him awesome YouTube video. Continue watching The Biggest Loser. Is there any way to cool biscotti faster?
  13. Biggest Loser is only a half-episode. Biscotti is still not cool. Decide to go for a run to burn off future calories.
  14. Return from run. Biscotti is now cool. Slice into finger while slicing cookies. As a consequence, slice biscotti into slices more in the one inch range than in the half inch range.
  15. Bake 15 minutes. Flip. Bake 15 more minutes.
  16. Cool. Again.
  17. The next morning, bring to work. Have coworkers sing praises to your name.

Southern Living’s Chocolate Chip Biscotti Recipe

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Kristina permalink
    January 26, 2011 11:13 pm

    Looks delicious! I’m sure your co-workers will love this! How lucky for them!

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